The Mind is like a Parachute
First Impression

“You only get one chance to make a first impression.” advertising slogan

In beginning a negotiations or making a first contact with a potential negotiating partner your first actions or statements will set a pattern of expectations that will be hard to change. An abrasive opening and your subsequent actions and statements will be seen through the filter of the assumption that you are abrasive. If your first response is evasive or unresponsive, future responses will be seen in through that filter.

Similarly, if your first proposal is seen as extreme or over-reaching that will also be an expectation regarding future proposals and the basis for their initial evaluation.

On the other hand, an initial approach that shows an openness to hearing the other party’s ideas and concerns or an initial proposal that seeks to be responsive to their concerns is likely to create an impression that will lead to positive expectations and responses and to your receiving the “benefit of the doubt” when a response could otherwise assume the worst.

The effective negotiator will plan carefully their opening approach. This may occur in informal discussions before a meeting – on the telephone or in an informal conversation – or at a first negotiating session. A starting point for this planning might be to ask the question, “What is the first question or questions that the other party will ask?” and planning a response that creates an impression that will further the search agreement.

This approach is not unlike that taken by a football team in preparing for a game, albeit often in the pursuit of winning and perhaps even misleading. They consider the expectations and tendencies of the other team and then plan the first few “plays” before the game begins in a strategic plan for the overall game.